A Brief Interrogation into the Genetic Elements of Lycanthropic Transformation

An Excerpt

It has come to my attention that the academic community has, up until this point, entirely neglected some of the most intriguing arenas of inspection when it comes to the Abnormal community. I am, of course, speaking of the drastic shift from the commonplace homo sapiens sapiens to the feral, uncontrollable homo sapiens lupus sapiens. It has been observed that the behavior sets available to each of these species varies greatly. This much is not at all up for conversation. However, beliefs surrounding what signifies homo sapiens lupus sapiens have long been debated; and I believe I can be the one to disperse the misinformation as well as provide some certain (and I will humbly call them) “corrections.”

The field of biology tells us two things about DNA:

  1. That it is the building block of all proper organic life and
  2. That the number of combinations available in a particular genome is finite.

I will emphasize that second point here heavily, while hopefully, taking the first for granted, even if you haven’t attended my freshman seminar at the University of Connecticut, Biology 101–or “Biology for Dummies,” as the students like to call it.

Because there is only a limited number of combinations of the four bases in DNA (again, for those without a basic biochemical understanding, they are adenine, thymine, guanine, and cytosine), there is a limit to phenotypic expressions.

[¹How can I explain this in more elementary terms for the laymen? Suppose you are baking. We won’t say exactly what you are making just yet, but you need ingredients. For simplicity’s sake, let’s just say you need eggs, flour water, and sugar. Depending on what you want to make, you will use different ratios of your ingredients. For a cake, you need more eggs than if you were baking bread. It’s just that in reality, we’re making a human, not a baked good. If the metaphor isn’t strong enough, so be it. I’m a damned tenured biology professor. I was a candidate for the International Prize for Biology in 2012. I’m not some word hippie, ready to explain every little thing in terms a child could understand.]

With all of that being said, it must be understood that what we refer to colloquially as “werewolves” come in many different varieties. Therefore, to say that someone “has become a werewolf” is not only dangerously lacking in specificity, but is also, frankly insulting to those of us doing the due diligence to identify lycanthropic subspecies, categorize them, and provide the necessary materials for a proper treatment (assuming one is available).

What I mean by this is that not all “werewolves” are created equal. A victim of the South Peruvian strain of homo sapiens lupus sapiens DNA will obviously have the telltale pigmentless demarcation in the distal dermis running in a line from one meeting of the radius and ulna to the other, and this demarcation appears on each arm. This demarcation, which resembles a peculiar tattoo of a white line, has been critical to diagnosing and curing the South Peruvian strain in over a dozen cases. While I cannot take the credit in all of these scenarios, it was the work the my team–frankly, just myself–has done over the last decade that allowed for these individuals to continue living a relatively normal life.

I digress.

The difficulty in isolating the DNA of homo sapiens sapiens from its lupine bastard brother, is that all of the same base pairs exist, without change. Not to say that the genotype of the affected individual experiences no alterations–not by a long shot–but, the differences are merely ones of expression. If we think of each chromosome like a string of Christmas lights, the effects of lycanthropy simulate perhaps unpredictable power fluctuations in certain areas of the string; it does not, as previously postulated, change out any of the four typical human DNA bases for pairs of some “supernatural” nucleotides.

[…]

¹ It was explained to me by a colleague of mine after the first publishing of this work, that I had failed to properly remedialize what is already a phenomenally simple idea. It is with my shallow regret that I append this paragraph.

 

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